Becoming who I was meant to be...

Over the past year there have been many changes in my life. Friends have moved away, I have started a full time job, my hubby deployed and on top of everything else the "friends" who were local turned their backs on me.

How can anyone live like this and still keep their sanity?! For any military spouse a deployment is a hard life to live and to have your closest friend move away and everyone else turn against you can send you over the edge very quickly.

Needless to say this deployment was probably the hardest I have ever had to endure. I can still remember the day Chris left for Iraq. Standing on the tarmac with only my children and trying to be strong for them was one of my lowest points. Normally following any deployment I try and stay away from my house. Going home makes it a reality and I am not usually up for facing reality once the plane has left. This time I had no choice. There was no where for me to go. I called Michelle that morning and through my tears told her she wasn't suppose to be in Texas, but here with me.

Michelle had been my support through many deployments and vice versa. Whenever our husbands would deploy we would load the kids in the car and take a trip. Anywhere but home was our goal. I can't begin to tell you the amount of times we packed everyone into her Suburban: Her, me, Hannah, Cody, Colton, Cheyenne, Savannah, and depending on where we were going, Megan (and when we had more children: Taylor, Ashley, and Zylee). Needless to say we were packed to the gills. Ahh, the good ole days. :) But I am getting off track...

Back to the point of my post, through everything it was a matter of taking stock of who I was and who I was suppose to be. There were some days that I would feel as if I had to put on the armor of God to simply be able to walk into the Welcome Center. Satan wanted me to feel the discontent that came from some of the staff there, and I knew that only God could protect me.

While I will admit that I am not perfect, and I tend to stress out over the little things, I am taking the scripture to heart. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34. God can see us through anything if only we will allow him. For this reason, I am trusting him to see me through this new unpredictable life.

If people choose not to like me or say things against me, then that is on them. I am refusing to worry about their perceptions of me. God will take care of that. If I concentrate on me and doing what God would have me do, then God will take care of the rest. The worry and the dislike is of Satan and I refuse to allow him any control in my life. Now is the time for me to concentrate on becoming who I was meant to be.